A Dog named Sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong girl." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my husband and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my husband and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my husband and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look lady, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."

Retribution

The Chinese believes that whatever harm you do to others will invariably affect your next generation. Hence, you get this "big ghost and small ghost" in there.

This is Karma. Karma can come back to you at any moment.

Sometimes your Karma comes back to you Instantly.

A Paper 2002 Beetle

It must have been the Seventh Month or what when you get to see things you don't normally want to. This morning, I stumbled onto something dirty, a paper 2002 "bitch" color Beetle with evil on board. The Chinese have this saying, "The Good shall prevail and the Evil, good riddance to it."

Expired Parking

When her meter on life runs out...

This bitch had a great sense of humor and wanted a parking meter on her grave that says "Expired".

Well, here is one from eBay!

A dumbwit of a fucking boss

In all my twenty five years of automotive selling, I have encountered some good and bad bosses. Some I worked with are either utterly incompetent or fucking morons.

I had this one superior who came to work every day always past eleven in the morning. He would call his managers at lunch time like as if to him lunchtime is nine in the morning. He forgot that he comes to work close to noon. He also ensures all his staff clock in with the punch card machine at nine in the morning while he is still stretching himself in bed.

This particular idiot of a boss abhors "remote control management" from his managers and yet he himself would stay away from office during the weekends only to call in to ask how many cars have been sold. That's some dumbwit moron for you.

He smokes in his room knowing well that it is against the law to smoke in an air conditioned office and at that with his poor pregnant secretary sitting just outside his door. Does he care?

This same guy also got one of his managers to queue up for "ba kwa" during one Chinese New Year. Mind you, that "ba kwa" was for his own personal consumption. Why would any fucking idiot abuse his powers like that?

It's interesting to note that when his managers left, he was left to feign for himself only to get the boot after some dismal results. He asked to prolong his departure as he was waiting for his PR application. Months later, he took the company to court with a bonus claim. How's that for gratitude?

He even went as far as getting three witnesses to prove his point the dismal results were not his fault. None of them seems interested in supporting his claim. What a loser?

The old adage holds true, the higher you are the harder you fall. Today, the high and mighty have fallen badly and he's made to eat his humble pie. His fall from grace has been well celebrated albeit he is still complaining that his ex company has not given him a farewell party.

Really when you look at all the companies he has been with, you will understand how pathetic his track record is. What has he achieved insofar? To add insult into injury his ex company is doing so, so much better without him.

His ever popular three big boasts has always been, "I don't need to work," being headhunted by a Dubai company for a million dollar job and 20 years of car business experience. Well .... for that number one boast, he is still working, two, not for a Dubai company but one with a pay cut and a designation drop, and last but not least that "Twenty years of experience is no better than one year of experience repeated twenty times."

That's management for you. Come to think of it, I am into the belief you don't need brains to be a boss. Any asshole will do. It looks like very soon he will be driving a cab. This sad loser sucks big time.

240-mm Multiple Launch Rocket System MLRS

Crew 3
Dimensions and weight
Total weight in combat order 24.56 t
Overall length 6970 mm
Chassis length 6970 mm
Overall width 2970 mm
Overall height in on road position 2620 mm
Armament
Caliber 240-mm
Number of loading tubes 12
Salvo lasting time 48 s
Reloading time 5 - 10 min
Combat Load
Combat load missiles
Missiles weight 258.5 / 307 kg
Maximum flying range 32 - 40 km
Minimal flying range 2 km
Mobility
Engine power 500 h.p.
Maximum road speed 65 km/h
Autonomy on roads 485 km
Maneuverability
Slope 30°
Vertical step 0.9 m
Ditch 2.5 m