Why Indeed?

Life Explained

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife.

In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

Men are like floor tiles

Losing his job is really a taste of his own medicine

Boasted that he has more than twenty years of experience but in reality his track record in management has been appalling As the saying goes, "Twenty years of experience is no better than one year of experience repeated twenty times." And this is the same guy that got one of his managers to queue up to buy "ba kwa" for him during Chinese New Year. What a poor dumb bastard.

The “Ocean Dome” in Miyazaki, Kyushu Island

The “Ocean Dome”, the largest indoor water park in the world, is located in Miyazaki, Kyushu Island (Japan). The size is impressive. In fact, Ocean Dome is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest indoor water park, measuring 300 meters in length, 100 meters in width. And the temperature is 30 degrees Celsius year-round.

Within the dome, there are shops where you can rent the latest in swimsuit fashions or whet your appetite with drinks, fast food, light snacks, or full-scale restaurants that serve up the best in local Miyazaki cuisine.

Full of SHIT!

Do you need to put on an act when you are selling? He has been putting on an act all these years and his last job as managing director caught up with him. He was finally booted out. Fancy an idiot teaching you that to sell cars. Which proves my point, "You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do." And only assholes can think of that. Click here for Office Morals.

The lady and the Pharmacist.

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy", I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, and they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide !"

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, hell, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Why guys don't want to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them...

I know a girl who broke up with a guy and she told him she wanted to "still be friends." He said, "No thanks." She wondered why he couldn't fall back to being just friends after they had a romantic relationship. I came up with the "McDonalds Analogy" to try and explain it in a simple way that would help all women understand this tough question.

Imagine if you went to McDonalds a lot and ordered a Big Mac Combo meal. A Big Mac, Large Fries and a Coke. You really like this meal. One day, you pull up to the drivethrough and order the Big Mac Combo meal and the girl tells you, "I'm sorry - you can have the Big Mac and the Coke, but you can't get fries with that anymore." You think about this for a moment, and sure - the Big Mac is the centerpiece of the meal, but McDonalds has some really good fries and you like their fries with your meal. So you say, "I've been able to get fries with that before, why can't I have fries with my Big Mac combo anymore?" The girls says, "Well, I just think it is better if you only have the Big Mac and the Coke from here on out."

At this point, a lot of guys are going to go to Wendy's or BK and see if they can get fries with their combo at that drivethrough window. But there are some guys who REALLY like McDonalds Big Macs and they might think, "If I keep coming here and ordering the Big Mac and Coke, maybe she'll change her mind and give me some fries with that later." So they will keep on getting the combo without the fries until the deal breaker happens: One day that guy is going to order the Big Mac and Coke and then he's going to pull up a little bit to pay, and someone else is going to pull up to the drivethrough speaker and order the "Big Mac Combo" and he is going to hear the girl say, "Would you like fries with that?"

That's why guys don't like to be friends with a girl who breaks up with them.

Tomb of the Monstrous Butt

Shanghai Nightscape

I Do Not Define Myself ........

The Seamstress's Story

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the river-bank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.

"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes!" cried the seamstress. "Yes" !

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord it is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said
'yes' to George Clooney.

And so --- the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,
- All Women

Ten Sales and Marketing Tips I learned from Strippers

I got this over the Net. It isn't written by me but I think it makes interesting reading if you are in sales. It is something we can all relate to and how true it is.

Like you, I like strippers.

However, I generally find myself leaving the strip club with an empty wallet. Any business that can get you to spend all of your money is a good one to be in.

But while walking out of a club one evening, I realized that a big reason they have such a good business is because strippers are such great salespeople. It is not simply due to the fact that they are selling to stupid horny men, but because they use a lot of highly effective sales and marketing techniques.

You too can achieve great success by applying sales and marketing techniques of strippers. Here are the ten sales and marketing techniques I have learned from strippers:

Sales Technique #1 - Give them something for nothing
One of the first thing a stripper will do is come up to you and flirt. She will likely sit on your lap or do something to raise your excitement level. For this, you have to do nothing. However, you do get a sample of the service and if it is a good one, your chances of buying the service increases. This also applies to the dances they do on the stage.

Sales Technique #2 - Understand your customers
Strippers get to know their customers by asking questions. This allows them to develop a rapport and tailor the sales pitch…

Sales Technique #3 - Tailor the Sales Pitch
Strippers will try different sales pitches with different people based on what she thinks they like. “I like to get dirty” or “Have you seen my great ass?” or “My tits are real”. Each pitch may be the one thing that converts the potential customer into a buyer. (Pointing out a tight ass may work for some). And she revises her pitch based on experience.

Sales Technique #4 - Make sure you are selling a great product/service
She knows she has to have a great product. If she put on 30 pounds or hadn’t showered for the past 4 days, she would likely not get as many customers. Regardless of how great a salesperson you are, you can’t do much with a crappy product/service.

Sales Technique #5 - Provides Good Customer Service
She will make sure you are happy on your first dance or she won’t get repeat business or even do what she ultimately set out to do…Upsell.

Sales Technique #6 - Upsell
She sells the customer on a relatively cheap service, a lapdance, but then markets her other services to them. She tries to get them to the “champagne room” and sell an upgraded service, which is where the money is. However, without the first sale, she would never get the bigger sale. Customer's acquisition is tough. Once she does it, she needs to get as much business as she can.

Sales Technique #7 - Closing Techniques
She will use a variety of closing techniques to get you to buy her services. There are a variety of closing techniques, but two popular ones used by strippers are the compliment close (usually flirting with you) and companion close (getting your buddies to push you into closing the deal).

Sales Technique #8 - Target your audience
Strippers market to individuals that are interested in her service. First, she works in a strip club where guys go specifically for her service, that is obvious. But she also knows which guys to go after within a group or which groups will likely spend the most money. Spending time with cheap-asses only wanting to pay a dollar for a dance will not be a wise use of her precious time.

Sales Technique #9 - Persistence
Even though the audience is qualified, she knows she will get rejections. Even so, she will go up to every guy and ask if they need a lap dance. She also knows that the more guys she asks, the more yesses she will get.

Sales Technique #10 - Branding
I don’t know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnes. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.

When one door of happiness closes ......

The Beginning of a New Day