How to Feel Inspired When You’ve Lost Motivation

Some days you wake up and right when you are going to begin your work, you feel a presence within you that stops you from doing so. You sit down, but you sit down quietly this time. Suddenly, that feeling where you once were so passionate and energized to take action just isn’t there anymore. You try to hype yourself up but it’s not working, and everything you do seems to be counterintuitive. You face the truth. You don’t want to work today and you don’t feel motivated to do anything but just escape. Without this motivation, you feel a little hopeless, lost, and stuck.

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. If you’re not a hundred percent passionate about your work, then it’s impossible to wake up everyday feeling motivated when you wake up. You might compare it to the ocean. Sometimes you’ll wake up feeling like a tsunami, other time you’ll feel like just barely drifting to shore. When you feel like drifting to the shore, understand that it doesn’t always have to feel like there’s no hope. You can still feel inspired when there’s no motivation.

1. Connecting the Dots

“Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” –Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs at a Stanford commencement speech said that giving this speech the students was the closest thing he came to graduating college. He’s never finished college. He recalls that the working class savings that his parents had made their entire life was being spent on his tuition on a college he says was as almost as expensive as Stanford. After 6 months, he couldn’t see the value in it and dropped out. Not knowing where to go in life, he decided to take a class in calligraphy. He, however, didn’t see any practical application for it in life.

Ten years later, they were designing the first Macintosh computer, and it all came back to him. He used the ideas that he had learned in calligraphy class, including the different types of typography, and put it in the Mac. It was the first computer to have beautiful typography, which has affected the different types of typography that we use today. If he had never dropped out in collage, he would have never taken that calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do today.

Sometimes when you’re trying to reach a goal, it’s impossible to connect the dots where you currently are. Somehow you just have to trust in yourself, and have faith that you will reach your dreams, despite not having the slightest clue or perfectly laid out road to where you are going. Nobody can connect the dots looking forward; you only can connect them when you’re looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future; you have to trust in something, whether it’s karma or destiny, but trusting yourself is the first step towards feeling inspired and having the motivation to move forward.

2. Allowing Your Environment to Predetermine Your Mood

“There is a direct correlation between an increased sphere of comfort and getting what you want.” – Timothy Ferriss

Tim Ferriss has always advocated the idea of using your environment to your advantage. He believes that controlling your environment is often much more effective than relying on self discipline. He finds that he writes the best between the hours of midnight and 1 AM to 3 to 4 in the morning. As he is writing, he will put a movie in the background so it will feel like he is in a social environment, even though the entire movie is on mute. Next to him may be a glass of tea. This is what puts him in the mood to do quality writing and make him so successful.

Look around your room right now or your workspace. Does it inspire you? Does it give you motivation? Is it noisy or quiet? Sometimes the hardest thing we do to ourselves is try to force ourselves to work in an area that is subconsciously telling us, “I can’t work here.”

And when you are constantly trying to discipline yourself, you will feel worse and be less productive. Instead try to build your ideal workplace and ideal time. Free it from distractions. Perhaps add a piece of artwork or a quote of your favorite person nearby you on the wall. Maybe add a beautiful plant in the corner to give you inspiration. If you feel more energy and enthusiasm during the night, schedule your day to work at midnight if you can. If you can realize the power of having a productive environment, you will naturally feel inspired and motivated to get work done.

3. Don’t Work So Hard

“Research now seems to indicate that one hour of inner action is worth seven hours of out-in-the-world action. Think about that. You’re working too hard.” –Jack Canfield
Jack Canfield was once giving a speech to an audience. He tells of a story of a chiropractor who went into his dream city, near Pebble Beach, and asked chiropractor associate if they could hire them. They told him no because they had 1 chiropractor for every 8 patients. Instead of letting his external reality which was out of his control determine his future, he went back to visualize and think about it, and something would come to him. He put a pen in his new office one day, and put concentric circles that he needed to go ask people in town that he was opening up a new chiropractor office and if they were interested in joining.

Over 6 months he knocked on 12,500 doors, talked to 6,500 people, and gathered over 4000 names to the people who wanted to go to his open house. He opened his chiropractor in a town he was told there was too many chiropractor. In his first month in practice, he netted $72,000. In his first year in practice his gross income was over a million in income.

Now you may look at this and say knocking on 12,500 doors is hard work. To you it is, but to the man it was probably effortless. Jack Canfield says there are 2 types of action – outer and inner. Outer action is actually going out to do the action – whether it’s networking with people, going door-to-door to make a sale, or just writing at home. Inner action is other things like visualization, meditation, and affirmations.

If you’re trying to force your way into taking action, it could be a sign that you are working too hard. Most people won’t wake up and waste an hour visualizing, meditating, or affirming, and the first thing they think about is asking what do I need to do today? And when they get the answer, they feel miserable, as if their work suddenly weighs them down. But Canfield says that if you spend time to focus on your goals, you’ll receive good feelings – feelings that help you feel inspired and motivated to take real action.

Don’t try to paddle upstream. That’s just basically going everyday saying to yourself that you need to force yourself to work every day. Instead, paddle along the stream of the river. Trust yourself, let your environment work in your favor, and spend some a little bit of time putting yourself in a state before you work. Inspiration will come to you from different ways – inside and out – and give you the motivation to guide yourself towards reaching your dreams.

Source: Seth Simonds

10 Presidential Traits every man should have.

You may never reach the Oval Office, but you can learn a lot about being a good leader from the men who have lead our country. And whether you're The Big Man or the low man on the totem pole, their lessons will make you a better man.

Respect
John F. Kennedy called himself a doughnut in front of 120,000 Berliners. So what? At least he tried to speak the local language.

Patience
John F. Kennedy cooled out the Soviets during the Cuban missile crisis by lighting up a Havana, not lighting up Havana. Think about that the next time you reach for the red phone beside your desk.

Open-Mindedness
Want good advice? Go to someone you usually disagree with. Lincoln staffed his cabinet with opponents, so surely you can ask a Red Sox fan what he thinks of Jeter. He may just surprise you.

Enthusiasm
The best ideas draw the most criticism. Maintain your passion and your smile, and others will want to join your cause.

Accountability
The bigger the blunder, the greater the apology. Clinton said sorry eight times for Monica Lewinsky. Makes you wonder what we still don't know . . .

Humility
George W. Bush meant well during his dance-off with African performers, but he ended up as a YouTube punch line. Knowing your weaknesses is just as important as touting your strengths.

Empathy
Judge others in the context of their worlds, not yours. Men in Papua New Guinea wear penis gourds. Dumb? Well, guess what they think of your 15 mpg SUV.

Responsibility
It doesn't matter if you're commander-in-chief or branch manager: If you don't know what your troops are doing, you're probably too far removed from the battlefield.

Initiative
Always talk more about what you want to do than what you've already done. The only person who cares about your résumé is the guy copying it at Staples.

Diplomacy
When your girlfriend asks you how she looks, treat her like a rogue nation-state with an arsenal of nukes. A conflict-free resolution is the only sure way to avoid lasting collateral damage.

Vintage Ads on the Internet

Recent years everybody is crazy about vintage and retro stuff. Everything from clothing and shoes to furniture and accessories. It has gone so far that they are now producing vintage internet ads in a 1960’s style, and it is about all the trendy sites on the web, like for example Skype, Facebook and Twitter. The best part is that the ads have such amusing illustrations showing strange but old-fashioned computers and even iPhones.


The company producing them is an ad agency named Moma in Sao Paulo. The ads are specially made for Brazil’s MaxiMidia seminar series. The ad illustrations give such optimism, like they are trying to tell you how great the social networking sites on the internet are. The contrast of the 60’s and the modern life today is a bit ironic, because back then they didn’t have internet and they were fine without, but today you can hardly find one person that is not addicted to the web, especially sites like Facebook and Youtube. Other things that are also vintage are these toys.





Source: Maximidia

Fifteen amazing castles around the world.

1. Hohenzollern Castle. Germany.

This fairytale castle is the historical seat of the Prussian Kings and German Emperors. Its origin dates back to the Middle Ages - it was built in the 11th century, then completely destroyed in 1423 and reconstructed in 1461.
The view from the castle that stands on top of Mount Hohenzollern (855 m) is as stunning as the complex itself. The castle is located about 50 kilometers (30 mi) south of Stuttgart, the capital of the Baden-Württemberg state.

2. Castle Howard. England.

Although it looks like a castle, Howard is actually a stately home - a private residence of the Howard family that has resided in the complex for more than 300 years. The house, located in North Yorkshire, England, is one of the largest residences in Britain. Its construction commenced at the end of the 17th century and lasted around 15 years. Among the remarkable features of the castle are fabulous gardens and a vast expanse of parkland surrounding the whole complex.

3. Alcázar of Segovia. Spain.

Segovia Castle, located in an ancient town of Segovia in central Spain, started off as an Arab fort in the 12th century. Its unique shape of the bow of a ship makes the fortress one of the most distinctive castles in the country. In the Middle Ages Alcazar was a key fortress in the defense of the country. Apparently, it was a source of inspiration for many of the castles produced by Walt Disney.

4. Himeji Castle. Japan.

Himeji Castle, also known as White Heron Castle due to its amazing white exterior, is a stunning complex comprised of 83 wooden buildings. One of the most extraordinary defensive elements of the castle is the maze of paths leading to the main keep. The gates and baileys are designed so as to force approaching intruders to travel into spiral pattern, facing many dead ends. It was originally built in the 14th century and is located in the Kansai region of Japan.

5. Prague Castle. The Czech Republic.

Prague Castle, an iconic site of the capital of the Czech Republic, is one of the largest and oldest castles in the world. It is about 570 meter long and 130 meter wide, and its design represents literally every architectural style of the last millennium, from Gothic to Romanesque and Baroque features. The first buildings of the complex emerged as early as in the 9th century.

6. Peleş Castle. Romania.

Located in an idyllic setting in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania, the Peleş Castle is truly a fairytale construction. Started in 1873, the construction of the complex was quite international an undertaking. This is how Queen Elisabeth of Romania described the construction phase: "Italians were masons, Romanians were building terraces, the Gypsies were coolies. Albanians and Greeks worked in stone, Germans and Hungarians were carpenters. Turks were burning brick. Engineers were Polish and the stone carvers were Czech. The Frenchmen were drawing, and the Englishmen were measuring...". Apparently, there were 14 languages heard among the workers.

7. Chambord Castle. France.

Given that Chambord was, officially, built to serve only as a hunting lodge, it is quite an impressive construction. It is also worth a mention that the location of the castle was chosen by King François I as he desired to be near his mistress, Claude Rohan, whose palace was located adjacently. The massive castle has 440 rooms, 365 fireplaces, and 84 staircases, and it is the largest chateaux in the Loire Valley in France.

8. Neuschwanstein Castle. Germany.

The castle, whose construction began in 1896, was designed by Christian Jank, a theatrical set designer rather than an architect, for Ludwig II of Bavaria who was declared insane before the castle's completion. This explains a lot. The architecture, the location and the size of the Neuschwanstein are spectacular and somewhat crazy. Situated on a rugged hill, in southwest Bavaria, today the castle is one of the country's most popular tourist attractions.

9. Corfe Castle. England.

Although ruins are all that remained of Corfe Castle, the fortifications still make quite a big impression. Located in the county of Dorset on the Isle of Purbeck, the castle dates back to the 9th century. It is believed, however, that Corfe might have emerged much earlier and was a Roman defensive site. The parts whose remnants you can see today were constructed in the 11th century, and two centuries later the fortress was used as a royal treasure storehouse and prison.

10. Matsumoto Castle. Japan.

Matsumoto Castle is an absolutely stunning Japanese castle located in the city of Matsumoto, within easy reach of Tokyo. The castle was built in 1504 and today it is listed as a National Treasure of Japan. It was in use until mid-19th century. After the Meiji Restoration in 1868, the new Japanese government was so broke that it decided to demolish the castle and sell the timber and the iron fittings (this was the fate of many castles in Japan at the time). Matsumoto was rescued by local citizens who purchased it in 1878.

11. Burg Eltz Castle. Germany.

Burg Eltz is another example of outstanding German castles. This amazing medieval construction in southwest Germany is still owned by a branch of the same family that resided there over 800 years ago. The present owner of the castle is Dr. Karl Graf von und zu Eltz who represents the 33rd generation of the House of Eltz.

12. Eilean Donan Castle. Scotland.

Built in the 13th century to hold back the Vikings, today Eilean Donan Castle is one of the most famous sites in Scotland. Most probably it was named after Bishop Donan who came to Scotland in the 6th century. It is situated on an island, surrounded by the amazing scenery of the Scottish highlands. The fortress has been rebuilt at least four times and for around 200 years (from 18th to 20th century) it actually laid in ruins. It was re-opened in 1932 and since then it has been visited by thousands of travelers from around the world.

13. Neuchâtel Castle. Switzerland.

The castle, built at the end of the 10th century, was a gift of Rudolph III King of Burgundy to his wife. This very generous present gave its name to the town, the lake and then the Swiss canton where the castle is situated. Rebuilt in the 15th and 17th century, today the castle is the seat of cantonal government and the law courts.

14. Guaita Fortress. San Marino.

Guaita fortress, located on Guaita peak and overlooking the city of San Marino, is an iconic image of this micro country embraced by Italy. The fortress was constructed in the 11th century and served as a prison for some time. Guaita is one of the Three Towers of San Marino, located on the three peaks of Monte Titano. The towers are depicted on the San Marino's national flag and its coat of arms.

15. Conwy Castle. Wales.

Conwy is one of the most prominent fortresses built by Edward I in the 13th century. It is one of the key castles of the king's "iron ring" of fortresses constructed in Wales.. The stronghold was quite an expensive undertaking - it is estimated that Edward spent £15,000 (£162 million in 2009) on the construction, which makes it the most costly castle in the Welsh history. Today Conwy is declared a World Heritage Site and its eight towers, overlooking the Conwy estuary, are the iconic image of North Wales.

Mars vs Venus

This was written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out! a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
“WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
“Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.

Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls

Bio-Diversity

Be Careful What You Wish For

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to
the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich..

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That
will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket
and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?'
asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,'
says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up
with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic
and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared
and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had
to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the
right amount of money would always be there....'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a
tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

Football finally makes sense ......

A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it", she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cannot understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like.... Hellooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!"

5 Sexual Techniques to Make Her Wild with Desire

Guys there are certain things you can do to make a woman swoon. They aren’t difficult, anyone can do them and they are some of the sexiest things I can think of…and I have quite the imagination…

So. Are you ready? Are you all that is man? Wipe that drop of drool from the corner of your mouth and read on….

Technique #1 : Wet Hands

Yep, it is the wet hands technique. Certainly one of the most popular among most women polled for this article. So simple. So exciting. You will leave her breathless.

• Fill the kitchen sink up with hot water and add a few drops of a scented dish liquid. Not too many, you don’t want it to be harsh. There are many very nice scents out now, from vanilla and lavender to grapefruit. It is completely up to you.
  
  
• With a soft cloth in your hands plunge your hands into the water and get the cloth very wet.
  
  
• Now, moving slowly and gently place a dish in the water and rub the cloth across the surface of it..over and over again.
  
  
• Place the dish in clean rinse water and repeat until she is moaning with pleasure.

Technique #2: Vibrate Me Baby

This technique utilizes what many women think of as toys… It is a little more difficult and takes a little more muscle. Extra credit on this one if you wear a black “wife beater” shirt at the same time. Are you man enough?

• Carefully pull the vacuum out of where it has been stored. You know you want to.
  
  
• Plug it in and push all the right buttons.
  
  
• Slowly move back and forth and back and forth across the carpet, you will know when to move to a new spot.
  
  
• Move to the next spot and repeat as long as it takes to get results.

Technique #3 : The Wet T Shirt Game

This game is pretty easy, although you will have to think quickly while in the midst of gettin’ your game on. If you can handle the amount of agitation and vibration in the first few minutes you will be o.k. until the end.

• You will need two piles…no I did not say poles, I said piles.
  
  
• Put everything white and light colored in one and everything dark colored in the other.
  
  
• Fill the washing machine with warm water and laundry soap (this is imperative…use the amount suggested by the manufacturer).
  
  
• Add the light pile. Close the lid.
  
  
• Write her a love letter about how great her eyes are while you are waiting for it to finish
  
  
• Repeat with the dark colors except use cold water.
  
  
• Quick note: If your wife is screaming “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Don’t stop what you are doing..that is called domesticus interruptus and it really is frustrating for women.

Technique #4: What Goes Up Must Come Down

This is best used as a quickie, whether in the middle of the night or during a chaotic afternoon. She can’t say no to this.

• When you put the toilet seat up….put it back down.
  
  
• Every time.

I know…I know.. you almost can’t take any more verbal titillation. Good thing this is a short list. This last one is amazing. It is incredible…it definitely saves the best for last.

Technique #5: Tonight It’s Oral Gratification

This will take some time to master. Work on it while using other techniques several times a week and then just expose your big secret to her when she least expects it. If you all ready know this technique you should be using it to it’s full potential by adding to your repertoire of tricks.

• Learn to cook a whole meal.
  
  
• When she has had a particularly rough day run her a bath, preferably aromatic with LUSH bath stuff.
  
  
• While she is bathing fix your incredible dinner (hot dogs and popcorn does not count)
  
  
• While she is still relaxed from the bath and satiated with dinner proceed to technique #1.
  

Good luck guys.

Peasant Girl: My life is miserable because I am poor.

On September 6, 2008 a poster named 我是农家女 (”I Am A Peasant Girl”) was posted on Sina: “Late 70s Peasant Girl’s hopeless survival, would rather be a mistress than marry a poor person.”

China is the world's fastest growing community. However due to the size of the country, progress may not come fast enough for the people living in the remote stretches of the country. Some in our generation may not even see the change that is going on. Below here is the story of a woman who grew up in the remote village that is devoid of any progress whatsoever in today's China. It is a heart rending story and it makes us think how fortunate life is for people living in developed countries.

I know that after seeing this topic, you will all scold me, but may those who have the energy to scold me please carefully finish reading the content below, then consider if I should be scolded.

I was born in a remote hamlet in the north of China. I have heard from someone, who never been to the genuine villages, that the countryside is very nice. But in fact, no public road was built and the nearest bus stop is 20 kilometres away, so we always had to walk on foot or ride a bicycle to get out of the village. The street in the village was made of soil and was not flat. On a sunny day, wind with sound and soil blew you. On a rainy day, rain with the mud poured you. The mud on the road was added with shit from animals raised by villagers, because animals always shit on the road but not in their own country yard to keep it tidy and clean. No fresh vegetables were supplied to the villagers in the whole year because only radishes and cabbage were planted there. It also had sweet potato, if that is a vegetable. So, as dishes, what they could have were only salted radishes and cabbage. Some may ask, why did we not fry? The truth was that there was not much cooking oil for frying because of poverty, so fried dishes were always rare for them except in the case of Spring Festival or when some relatives come for dinner. I remember I had my first “you tiao” [a fried bread stick] in the dining hall at my university. And health care was not ensured either. Take my grandpa for example, he couldn’t help but wait for death once he fell sick. After he was sent to the hospital ran by the State, they refused to diagnose my grandpa even though we knelt down begging them to cure him. The reason was simply because we did not have 2 yuan for medicine. We could do nothing but see my grandpa die in the hospital. Some may say that the countryside is developing these days. But the truth is that there has been almost no change for my village since I was born. I really cannot say whether change will happen or not in my life.

I was born at the end of the 1970s. We had 5 children, including me, 3 sisters and 1 brother. Some people may wonder why my mother had so many children if my family was so poor? These people may not understand China clearly. These days, only really poor people or rich people can have more than one child, and we belonged to the poor group. In the countryside, in my opinion, there are 2 reasons for having more children. First, no entertainment in the countryside. So after working in the daylight, sometimes having sex on the “kang” (bed made by soil and brick) at night may be the only amusing thing for them. Although they did not want more children, no one told them effective means of contraception. I saw with my own eyes that my mother wanted to abort using tied rope or eating tobacco ash for contraception. The second reason was the traditional concept and environment of the countryside. There must be a man in every home because working in the countryside is so hard that only men can deal with them, so people in the countryside always held the concept that birthing a boy in every generation is necessary for the continuance of the family. If you could not give birth to a boy, you would be looked down upon. Before my brother was born, my mother was always looked down upon by my family members, I was always hit by other children and had the nickname of ‘jue-hu-guo,” meaning “no boy no generation continuance.”

The goodness of the farm is not what you think because of the poor and narrow opinions of countryside life. At that time, there were several children in every family, and every child struggled for subsistence without caring for others. I remembered that when I was 5 years old, my parents had gone to work farming, I took care of my sister at home, and one of my neighbours came to borrow a kitchen knife but also secretly stole a dinner pan. After my parents came back, they found the pan missing, so they went to that neighbour, but failed to get the pan back because my neighbour refused to acknowledge that he took the pan away. The result of this was that I was beat fiercely by my parents and we cooked without the pan for a long period.

And another time when I was 9 years old, I saw a sister-in-law in my village stealing the cotton from my uncle’s field, then she was caught by my uncle and warned that he would show villagers what she did. In order to prevent this, she promised that she could have sex with my uncle if my uncle would set her free. Then my uncle had sex with her in the field. I did not know what they did when I was 9 years old, but after I realized the meaning of what happened, it made me feel sick every time I thought of it. But, in the end, what they did was discovered and spread in my village. My uncle probably told some people, but that sister-in-law thought I had told my mother and that my mother spread it to the villagers, so she came to the gate of my home and scolded for several days. After that, I was beat by her on my way home and she hurt my mouth. When my mother asked what happened with my mouth, I lied that I was not careful and had a fall. I did not think to tell them the truth because I was afraid that my mother would go quarrel with her and cause a bigger conflict. I knew that, at that time, it was difficult for my mother to raise us. In brief, there are good people and bad people anywhere, and farmers are not synonymous with goodness either.

I was the first and only female undergraduate in my village. As a girl, it was a miracle that I could get into university from a place where boys could not always get an education. My father made all of this come true. My father is a veteran, his outside experiences led him to send me to be educated. His original intention was that I could read the characters and distinguish the toilet. At that time, we had to go to the school approximately 10 kilometres away. There were dozens of children for primary school, but after graduating from primary school, I was the only one that persisted with studying.

I had 2 reasons for that, one was that I had worked so hard. I always represented my school to compete with others from primary school to middle school, so my father might get the hope of getting out of the countryside through my excellent performance. Second reason was that when I was in school, I could do some work made of grass at the same time. We called it “cao-bian,” which can be used for the straw making. In that period, a “cao-bian” could sell for 0.2 yuan, and I could knit 5. I never did my homework or notes in class, I earned money when I was at school. This is another reason that I could continue my education. But my 3 other sisters paid the price by dropping their studies for my continued education. My youngest sister went to the brick plant with my father to carry bricks, my thin and weak father pulled the handcart and she assisted him by pushing it. They had to carry the brick to the place 2 kilometres away, and the whole process only could earn them 0.2 yuan.

Then I went to middle school. I lived at school and far away from home, so I stopped knitting the “cao-bian.” I was always the youngest student, because I had skipped several grades. I was also mature for my age because I knew that it is very difficult to get an education, and if I could get out of school early, I could start earning money earlier. So I got into campus at the age of 16.

I chose to go to university because of the existing financial support from the government for students in campus. If you could get a high score, you could pay less for your education. I could get 40 yuan to 60 yuan for living expenses every month. I spent nearly 600 yuan when I got into university. A fat pig my father had been raising for a long time was sold for this 600 yuan. If it was like the present standards, it would have been impossible for me to continue my campus life at that time. Although I got 50 yuan every month, I could save 20 yuan to post back for my family. I ate very simply every day, I never bought clothes and wore the uniform every day. I never used makeup either. The campus life made me realize how degrading being poor was. I had no friends on campus, first because I was younger and did not have similar topics with my dorm-mates. We rarely had a chance to chat with each other because I always came back to the dorm late after working to earn money to live. So, it might be unbelievable to you that I did not recognize all my classmates completely in 4 years’ studying, but this is the truth. They were enjoying their lives on campus but I was making a living. Second reason was the different experience of growing up. At that time, usually only those whose families were well-off could get into university, so my classmates could not understand my life and also looked down upon my dress. I remembered that a mother of my classmates even demanded to adjust the dorm for her daughter, since she thought her baby daughter could not live with a little beggar like me. In fact, my clothes were not dirty, they were tidy and neat but old. I had a strong capacity for self-care, I knew how to dress up myself and clean my clothes, but I was so poor that I could not buy new ones. What I wore was usually given by my relatives. And if it was unsuitable for me, I would pitch it and post back home for sisters. Some clothes had to be re-seamed for others, such as underwear, if it became old. I was good at sewing and I even sewed a beautiful skirt for my sister out of a sheet thrown out by my classmate. The fine working made those who ever looked upon me all supposed that it was as same as the one they bought.

The governmental policy changed when I graduated from university scarcely. They would not take responsibility for the jobs of graduates who had to find jobs by themselves. It was impossible for me to go back to my home town, first reason was that I was no longer suitable for the life of the countryside, another one was that I would be a negative example for the villagers: 4 years’ learning in city resulted in nothing but going back home. This would be their excuse to persuad their children to drop learning. I had to live in the city, and it was impossible for me, not like others, to find a suitable job slowly. I had to find a job that could offer me dinner and a place to live, since I had no money in my pocket and I mustn’t ask for money from my family either, I had to earn money by myself. In order to earn money, I changed several jobs and cities. My mother needed money for medicine, my brother needed money for learning and my sister needed money for skill learning. But, I found what I earned was not enough and was not very much, even thought I was very thrifty.

My brother’s high tuition fees of 10 thousand yuan scared me and my family extraordinarily. We could not get the certificate of loan because the village head did not want to attest to our poverty. Only those who were orphans or only had a single parent without self-reliance could get the certificate, but my family did not belong to those categories because I had graduated from university and had a job to earn money. In fact, the reason of this was so simple. The village head envied 2 undergraduates in my family and he deliberately wanted to make it difficult for my family because he was always the king of the village. I could not borrow money from my neighbours firstly because they were so poor too, second because they were not fervent and kind-hearted in that kind of environment. If you were poorer than your neighbours or relatives, they would look down upon you because they were afraid that you would come to borrow money; but if you were rich, they would come to please you for benefits from you. My family was poor because of the high tuition fees of my brother. Guys without education went out to work for construction and earned some money, and if it was busy in the village, they could come back for busy season. But I and my brother could do nothing after graduating from university because we had not enough power to do some works in the countryside.

After that, I followed my father to the university where my brother was studying and brought some presents to seek help from the vice-chancellor. He promised us to let us pay the tuition fees by stages. However, the money was not enough either. At that time, I feel how difficult a person subsisted, I even thought of suicide. I just wanted to study hard to find a good job and earn money for my family before, but in fact, a girl from the village, without good-looks and English skills (in schools of villages, English was not a course), trying to find a good job was so difficult. I was not willing to indulge myself, so I felt everything was meaningless without aims. The idea of suicide always emerged in my brain, but if you wanted to die, you had to choose some way that benefited yourself. In order to get enough money for my brother and my family, I could sacrifice my life. Finally, being hit by a car was my choice. In a tangled street, I found an expensive car to collide with, I also put my ID in pocket, if this would come true, my family would get some compensation from the owner of the expensive car who would never care about it. This idea, however, was so impudent, I did really. When I went to collide with the car, the driver stopped his car quickly without injuring me. Instead of dying after being hit by a car, I was beaten damnably by him. But after his angry hitting, he took me to the hospital. What I said may be beyond someone, but everything I have described is the truth, I described the whole story so simply, but this is the truth and most valuable memory in my life. The driver sent me to the hospital and asked me if I wanted to die. I nodded my head and told him my story, then he gave me five thousands yuan and left. This was the man I met who helped me the most, I did not know what his name was or what he did, but I always wanted to find him to thank him. But before I found him, he was detained by police for drug trade. I got his name after the police came to find me when investigating him, and the name I will remember for my whole life. Please do not suspect the truth of this story, though I may not have described everything very well. After the case was published on the local newspaper I knew he got life imprisonment, and I remembered the police that investigated me. Then I went to jail to find him, I got nothing but was conned 100yuan by the police who were working in the jail. Up to now, I did not know the place where he was kept.

I am in Shanghai now, I came here because I heard the salaries here are high. But as a girl who is from the countryside, nearly at the age of 30 and without English skills, finding a job with high salary is almost impossible. Even as an officer in a company, the salary was only 1800 yuan without bonus. I share a rented apartment with others and have to pay 600 yuan every month for it. I also had to post 800 yuan to my family and that left me 400 yuan for my daily life, including dinner, traffic and others expenses. In order to save money, I always have one meal a day. The most terrible thing for me is being sick. Once I had fallen sick, not only did I lose my salary, I also failed to pay the rent and medicine cost. The medicine cost in Shanghai is high. I fainted and was sent to the hospital because of malnutrition. After I got to the hospital, I woke up and the doctors said I was OK. But doctors checked me a lot and gave me a bill of more than 1000 yuan. It really was a dreadful bill for me. Now, I lost my job because of China national identity card. I was fired during the Olympic Games period because I got my national identity card when I was in school and now it is expired. I even went back to my village to keep my hukou, but they refused me for the reason that my hukou did not belong there because of my education. Then, I went to the town for that, but I got nothing either. So I just have the hukou booklet which cost me 200 yuan. Without a job, my financial resources will be cut off and I may be evicted by my landlord since I cannot pay the rent, and I may die of hunger. Before my death, I summarize my miserable life was just because of poverty.

I rented an apartment with 3 other girls when I first came to Shanghai. But we have completely different lives after several years. One of us has become a concubine to a man from Hong Kong. She lives in a top house, wears famous brands, has expensive dinners, and she gets spending money of 10,000 yuan per month. Another one went on the streets in the night clubs. She will not worry about her bread and cheese, however, being a prostitute is always disgusting. The third one married a guy from the countryside, they worked hard together and earn 5000 yuan a month. Although they have to rent an apartment, they feel happy. Their biggest dream is to earn enough money to buy a house in their hometown. It is just a dream to buy a house in Shanghai for them. But now, her husband is ill and was fired by his company. He is recuperating at home now. There are no safeguards for people who do not belong to this city so she has to pay the rent, water and gas fee. She also has to spend money for her husband’s medicine with her little salary. Working during the day, washing and making dinner at evening, the difficult life changed her a lot. They do not dare to have a baby because they can not afford the cost of raising a baby. It is so hard for her but her husband’s mother always asks for money, because it was very difficult for his family to help her husband graduate from university, so they need her to return what they have paid for that. This girl once told me that if you want to marry, you had better not marry a poor man, because 2 poor people will only get a poorer life, so you should marry a man who has an apartment and you would not have to fear eviction at any time. I am not a concubine because I have no chance to be. But if someone wants me, I think I will be a concubine for him. What I ask for is not so high, I just want to find a place to live and have every meal. I think this is better than a prostitute.

Note: These images are not related to the above story, poster, or comments. They are from a series of pictures titled on QQ News in 2007 called “The real lives of the poor people’s children.”